Not a Book Review 1
When I was 6–7 years old, there were very few houses surrounding ours in my hometown, Deoghar, and even fewer of them had a television.
I remember walking with my grandmother and siblings to a neighbor’s house to watch Ramayana—an Indian television series based on the ancient epic—telecast every Sunday at 9 AM.
Many rivers have flown since then, and people have grown old. This past Diwali, when I visited my hometown, I saw many neighbors:
- Some were bedridden
- Others were losing their eyesight
Yet the common thing among all of them: they were residing in their own homes, cared for by their families.
Cultural Differences
The trend is different in developed countries:
- As people age, they often move to nursing homes
- In India, living with children during old age is considered normal (though this is gradually changing)
- Western societies have shifted toward isolating the elderly in care facilities
Lessons from Atul Gawande
Atul Gawande, in his fascinating book, shares stories highlighting how medicine has excelled at treating illness but struggled to prioritize quality of life over merely prolonging it.
Key insights:
- Aging increases dependence, but shifting the elderly to nursing care doesn’t always help; autonomy and dignity matter
- Doctors often focus too much on treatments (chemotherapy, resuscitation) rather than addressing patients’ overwhelming anxieties: death, loved ones, finances, suffering
- Gawande advocates having difficult conversations with patients, asking questions like:
- “If time becomes short, what is most important to you?”
- “What are your biggest fears and concerns?”
He writes:
“Our most cruel failure in how we treat the sick and the aged is the failure to recognize that they have priorities beyond merely being safe and living longer; that the chance to shape one’s story is essential to sustaining meaning in life; that we have the opportunity to refashion our institutions, our culture, and our conversations in ways that transform the possibilities for the last chapters of everyone’s lives.”
Reflecting on my visits to my elderly neighbors, I feel solace knowing they will pass away in their homes, surrounded by families who care for them.
A must-read!
